I am scared to death

New York, New York – Sean “Diddy” Combs, who faces more than two decades in prison following a blockbuster trial that saw the music mogul accused of harrowing crimes, on Thursday asked the judge determining his fate for “mercy” and “another chance.”

Following two months of testimony and arguments in the New York federal case, jurors rejected the most serious charges of sex trafficking and racketeering, sparing the 55-year-old the prospect of life in prison.

But he still faces upwards of two decades behind bars for his conviction on two prostitution-related counts.

Late Thursday, his lawyers submitted a letter signed by Combs in which he told Judge Arun Subramanian he was “scared to death” to be away from his family and vowed he “will never commit a crime again.”

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“This has been the hardest 2 years of my life, and I have no one to blame for my current reality and situation but myself,” Combs wrote in the three-and-a-half-page letter.

The once-powerful hip-hop innovator apologized for physically assaulting Casandra Ventura, his former girlfriend for more than a decade, who testified to the gruesome beatings as well as the devastating emotional and sexual abuse he inflicted on her.

“The scene and images of me assaulting Cassie play over and over in my head daily. I literally lost my mind. I was dead wrong for putting my hands on the woman that I loved,” he wrote.

Ventura said in a previous letter that she had moved her family out of the New York area for fear of “retribution” if Combs walks free.

He also apologized for having “hurt” a woman who testified under the pseudonym Jane, who also described abuse in wrenching detail over their years-long relationship.

Both women said that Combs, with the help of his staff and inner circle, coerced them into performing so-called “freak-offs”: sexual marathons with hired men that Combs directed and sometimes filmed. Combs did not mention those instances in the letter.

His defense has insisted the sex was consensual and the violence was domestic abuse. They convinced jurors that the sometimes days-long events did not meet the legal threshold for the most serious charges Combs faced.

But jurors did find that he violated a federal statute that makes it illegal to transport people across state lines for prostitution.

“I am so sorry for the hurt that I caused, but I understand that the mere words ‘I’m sorry’ will never be good enough as these words alone cannot erase the pain from the past,” Combs said in his letter to the judge.

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He blamed his behavior on drugs, excess, and “selfishness” and said his more than a year in a notorious Brooklyn jail left him “reborn.”

“Prison will change you or kill you – I choose to live,” he wrote.

He cited his rags-to-riches story in the entertainment industry and his childhood trauma of losing his father to murder. Combs described abhorrent prison conditions, inner work on himself that’s led to a “spiritual reset,” his sobriety, and the positive relationships he’s tried to build with fellow inmates.

Combs’s defense team says he should be released before the end of 2025.

The prosecution says he is “unrepentant” and a public threat who should serve at least a decade more. Several of his victims have written letters to the judge to that effect.

During Friday’s sentencing hearing, lawyers as well as at least one witness called by the prosecution are expected to address the court.

Combs is expected to speak directly to the judge.

His letter offered a preview of what can be expected.

“I ask you for mercy today, not only for my sake, but for the sake of my children,” he wrote. “I can’t change the past, but I can change the future… I have been humbled and broken to my core.”