What To Know
- After the midterms, Bill Maher urged Democrats and Republicans to compromise rather than pursue partisan warfare.
- He suggested trading support for a border wall for a pathway to citizenship for undocumented immigrants who have contributed to society.
- Maher also offered provocative advice on guns, the Supreme Court, energy, transgender issues, and homelessness.
Bill Maher just issued a bold calls to action for Democrats and Republicans after the midterm elections.
On the Friday, November 6 episode of Real Time With Bill Maher, the late-night host called out both parties for their refusal to make compromises for the benefit of society. He did so during his “New Rule” segment of the HBO program.
“Now that the election is over and Democrats are the big winners, they must take a cue from the other recent big winners, the Milwaukee Brewers,” Maher said. After explaining that the Brewers “shocked the world” when they “won it all” as the “smallest market team in the league,” the stand-up comedian pointed out, “The Brewers know how to deal” because they get good players by trading good players.
“That’s the lesson I want Democrats and Republicans to learn,” Maher said. “Do you want to get something done? Then you also have to give up good players.”
He explained, “Do I love the idea of a wall on the border? I really don’t. But would I give up on that one to get a pathway to citizenship for people who came here illegally but have contributed? Yes. Because you have to give up good players.”
After applause from the studio audience, Maher shared, “Most people who are not on the fighting fringes don’t want the endless warfare and endless lawfare. What they want is what the president himself so eloquently identified years ago.” The show then cut to a clip of President Donald Trump exclaiming, “We want deal!”
Maher then pointed out, “But that’s hard to get if your political philosophy is also…” before a clip of Trump saying “shove it up their a**” played.
The late-night host added, “After this week, I think the ‘shove it up your a**’ option is off the table… While the Democratic politicians are generally too polite to ever say out loud, ‘shove it up your a**,’ the way America has been governed in recent decades is exactly that. One party wins, the other gets drunk with power, kowtows to their fringe, and shoves their ideological agenda up our a**es, when all we want is to be governed effectively.”
After calling Congress “Martha-Stewart-Halloween-costume unpopular,” Maher said that right now is “one of those rare moments when that can change.” He explained, “When we have the opportunity to get out of this death spiral we’ve been in with each other. But it depends on both parties being willing to ‘make deal,’ mocking the way Trump said it.
Also, Maher said a good deal is “like a good marriage” because “both parties end up a little unhappy.” In politics, he argued, “you do it because if you don’t compromise, nobody gets anything.”
“So liberals, stop pretending that everyone who crosses the border is Anne Frank with a leaf blower,” he proclaimed. “And Republicans, you’re the party of white people, otherwise known as the people who don’t pick strawberries. So cut the crap about throwing people out who actually undergird the whole economy.”
Maher gave several other tidbits of advice to both parties on a variety of hot-button issues. “Owning a gun doesn’t make you a gun nut,” he said. “But when you pose with one on your Christmas card… yeah, we have a lot of gun nuts in this country.”
He continued, “Supreme Court — stop trying to pack it. I’m not that happy with the nine that are there; I’m not sure that 15 would make it better. But when one of them croaks, the president who’s in office, even if it’s one you don’t like, gets to pick the next one.”
After that, Maher advised, “Conservatives, stop acting like wind and solar are a plot to trans the Earth. But also, paper straws suck because they don’t suck. And making laws about straws is not going to affect if the planet survives or not. How about no more plastic straws or paper straws? You’re an adult; you shouldn’t need a straw at all.”
He added, “Trans — it’s rare, but it’s real. It’s not Bigfoot. Women with big feet, yes. But it’s rare. If a newborn has a penis, put male on the birth certificate, not ‘beats us, we’ll ask later.’”
“Ten commandments in schools,” Maher continued, before sighing, “I’ll give you five… No, that’s stupid. How about the left will allow the commandments to be displayed as a historical document, as long as the right admits they don’t follow any of them.”
Additionally, Maher joked, “I will give in on — I will trade — allowing the Bible to be read in public schools. But only by a drag queen.”
Other calls to action included:
- “Pot — we get to smoke it, you get to tax it. Done.”
- Homeless — “They’re human beings who should be treated with dignity. But they also can’t be allowed to just s*** on the street in front of America’s greatest monument, The Cheesecake Factory.”
- “Going to Mars… We can send people to Mars, but Elon [Musk] has to go first.”
What do you think about Maher’s advice to Republicans and Democrats?
Real Time With Bill Maher, Fridays at 10/9c, HBO
